Diana Dyslexia

An Undefined Definition by Diana Dyslexia

There are things in this world that we can never always explain or define. When science can only do so much, we are left with the play of words. The struggle to choose among the broad spectrum of words is endless. At the end of the day, all we can do is hope that words would be enough to paint the perfect picture.

BJ: a living theory.

BJ is a theory; a theory that lives by itself to prove himself to others. A living proof that excellence does not always translate to being immodest; that one need not to separate himself from the others to be praised because of his achievements; a proof that to be able to be successful and acclaimed, one must always remember how to be grounded.
If there is one thing admirable about BJ, that would be his honesty. Sometimes being confronted with the truth is harsh but I would rather be stabbed in the chest with the truth, than be fed with sugar-coated poison. In this kind of application process, wherein honest assessment is critical, there is always a Bernard Joseph Guererro, honest and reliable.

MAC: your support system.

BJ is infectious and good thing MAC is infected. Happy, perky, and pure fun, that’s what MAC is to me. Upon entering the UPDS application period these are the faces that one must remember. The reason of course is quite obvious, that it’s the Membership and Administration Committee for crying out loud! But above all, MAC is your plank of wood when the ship sinks. When things go wrong, you can cry all you want and do whatever you want to do but the smart choice would always be to talk to them. MAC is your breathing apparatus in times of comatose. They will make sure you will stay alive up to the end. They will help you stand and continue, alongside with other members.

ME: experience defined.
I am NOT brilliant. But the UPDS application period shaped me in a way that I would glitter, even though how faint, still they made me glitter. They made me do things that I did not know I can. They made me discover my potentials and juice out the best in me.
The whole application period is a path to the mountains - hard yet enjoyable. Starting at the lowest point, you feel at ease. But when it gets steep, chances are, you will struggle just to continue walking the path. The trek to the top is never easy. There is even no assurance of getting to the top. I stumbled once, but never had I had doubts that perseverance will help me make it though. Cuts, cramps, bruises, or what-have-you are necessary pains to make me, us, realize that this is not a stroll in the park. This is the UPDS application period. What we must understand that there is little room for doubt, fear, and even confidence; that we must be determined to take all things seriously.
I had the choice to settle at the foot of the mountain. I had the opportunity to admire the peak from below; where there is less pain and less effort needed. But I chose to take a risk – a risk to discover what is something up in the mountains to be admired. An admiration that made me change my perspective. A perspective I realized is kind that I wanted to have.

the effects of cigarettes on the brain by RAY(mund) PINIOCO

Applying for UPDS has been one of the biggest emotional roller coaster rides of my life. Whether the reason for this is that I just live a really boring life or that the application process is really hard I’m not sure, I’m just sure that it made me experience some of the highest highs and lowest lows of my life. Why exactly did it make me experience some of my lowest lows? It did so because at first (and up to now) I feel like there are a many applicants who are way better than me in debating. Sometimes when I watch them debate, I can’t help but feel that I don’t deserve to be in the same league with them. To be more particular, at the start of the application period I won one or two debates but after those debates it all went downhill. I lost almost every debate and had mostly below average debates. My ideas were called underdeveloped, my contextualization very poor, my views myopic, my rebuttals weak and untargetive and the structure to my speeches, -non-existent. I really felt like I was the dumbest applicant of UPDS and the slowest learner in my batch. However even before I applied for UPDS I already told myself that if I’m not going to make it, the only reason for my rejection would be my lack of talent and not my lack of effort and enthusiasm. And so, even though I was losing almost every debate, I continued on debating and debating and I never stopped bugging my buddy (who is one of the most competent, caring and patient buddies in the world) about possible cases for certain motions and so on. In the end I believe that I have improved. The reason that I can say this is that recently my partner and I have recently had very good debates although we also just recently had a poor one. I feel that this is an indicator that I have the potential to be a good debater some day with even more training and hard work.

One of the things that I believe helped me a lot in the application process is the MAC. They are very friendly patient towards the apps. They break the traditional stereotypes of UPDS people as snobs who look down on people who are not as good as they are. For instance Pluto was always checking if we were ok and if we were having any problems with out application process. They befriended us and made us feel like we belong to the society. Their joking around and sometimes even flirting with the apps made it easier for us apps to feel at home. Not only that, they were patient with us as well. In particular I really appreciate how Yang tries to find something good in a person’s speech no matter how much it sucked. He is one of those adjudicators who can really help a debater improve because he is patient towards those who still have a lot to improve. He criticizes but the way he criticizes doesn’t leave the debater disheartened.

BJ is also one of the members who the apps feel closest too. It might be because of his fatherly or motherly touch that the applicants just simply like him. When I first saw him during the apps orientation I thought that he was big tough guy perhaps because of the way he looks but the moment he started talking I immediately knew that it was going to be fun having him as our sort of “daddy” or “mommy.” And with that I believe that BJ stands for Big Joy just because he is really a fun person to be around with. But let me not confuse the reader by making it seem that BJ is just this funny gay guy who likes to have fun. BJ is a funny gay guy who likes to have fun and is an excellent adjudicator. ( I haven’t seen him debate yet) His australs caliber adjudication really helps debaters improve and gives apps critical points as to where they can improve and what good things they should keep on doing.

Sabi-na Lacad

**Paradigms** by Sabi-na Lacad

BJ is a paradigm. It is a paradigm that enabled not only me but also the rest of my co-apps to appreciate the conflicting ideologies of debating.

MAC Paradigm.
It is the paradigm that gives me a glimpse of the soul of the society that I am applying for. It is a paradigm that fosters camaraderie and secures the links of the chain amidst conflict of interests. It values even the smallest contribution I can offer and convinces me that that small bit is indeed something worth sharing. Also, it is a paradigm that equipped me with the necessary tools to wage war, a war that is fought with not only with the best intellectual strategies but moreover with great moral high ground. A paradigm that makes me want to belong in their world at the end of the day.

Debate Paradigms.
I personally believe that a person can only either “super” love or “mega” hate debating. These are two extreme paradigms on both ends and crucial at the very least. This is precisely the reason why if you are a debater it is really something more than a hobby but rather a passion (key element to the “super” love paradigm”) – for it is this passion that drives/ mobilizes one to battle in an academic ground to fight for principles without any incentives (a risk that not everyone wants to take). One needs the passion to battle such a bloody war (a war of ideas which is bloodier than swords) which can either vindicate or destroy you severely at times. More importantly, this passion enables one to heal after the war and concede to loses. That is the main reason why the application process is vital personally, for passion sometimes is not inherent but rather something you acquire from the environment. And I am glad to say that it allowed me to share the same passion from the members and not discouraged me from it. Applying enabled me to further conclude that indeed the passion that this society has is worth sharing and knowing regardless whether you become one of them or not.

I am glad and proud to partake in these paradigms regardless.

Kenneth “remove d” Cadenas

whipped! by Kenneth 'remove d' Cadenas

I can’t say that I know BJ through and through apart from the UP debate society app process but I do know that I have seen him before and I couldn’t forget him. Sometime in September last year, I was hanging out at Vinzons just before training and there I saw BJ. It wasn’t a coming-out-of-the-fog-imagine-BJ-running-toward-me-at-the-beach sort of thing; I’m not in love with him, you know. But still, he made an impression. There was a group of people as if in total panic and in the middle of chaos. Everyone was amuck. And then out of nowhere came BJ. I don’t know what it was about him but he simply said, “order!” and all was well. I realized then that the ecstatic people I saw were the new members of the Up debate society. BJ talked and all listened. (even me, who wasn’t supposed to be listening, pretending I was eating. haha) That was when I entertained the thought of applying for UPDS. I always wanted to debate but knowing debaters and knowing myself, I did not think I was up to par. To make a long story short, I applied and I’m here, typing my last requirement before JDC.

On the onset of the app period, BJ was the guy to look out for. I was dead scared of him for I only knew him from his achievements, his occasional hellos and that faithful day in Vinzons. I had no clue. On the night of my fifth tambay debate, probably around 8pm, BJ invited us to dinner. During about an hour and a half of giggling and dicing, I concluded, BJ is gay. To my surprise, he turned out to be an adventurer as well. At around 10pm, he decided that now would be a good time to cruise along Libis, Fort and ultimately, the place to be, wherever that was. I was thrilled but being the sissy me, I obeyed curfew, went home and lost the chance to party with a rockstar. Since then, I’ve always looked forward to dinners out after his debates with stellar adjudications.

BJ is a person of extremities. He is a person who commands great respect but is willing to laugh at himself. He can be as serious as serious can get and yet still be able to smile and say, don’t take it as if it can kill you. He is one of the people I’ll miss once this is over. His personality and “BJness” allows for a better MAC.

MAC is a committee that runs like a swiss clock. No hitches, no glaring mistakes and like no other. MAC is Macbeautiful, serving millions at a time. This is the committee whose members I get to interact with most often. When MAC is present, I’m sure to have a fun debate. I don’t know if they mean to, but they’ve made the app process bearable and fun. Usually, in all honesty, for the life of me, I do not revel in adding work to my already heavy load of academics, but debsoc tasks don’t seem like work at all with MAC. Most of the time, talks/interviews and getting-to-know-you’s don’t seem scary at all. They allow me to get to know debsoc, the fun, the frolic and the fabulous people. They initiate the discovery of personalities. I believe that if it weren’t for the members of MAC, I wouldn’t have my evening buddies after hours. If it weren’t for them, I’d be going home a mess every night after grueling debates. In fact, for the first time, because of them and other people, I see humor in debating. Imagine that. Before the application, debate is only serious business, fast talk and jargons I couldn’t understand.

As for the rest of the application process, all I know is I loved every minute of it. I got to learn a lot and I got to do what I’ve always been amazed at. I met people who I can consider to be potential life long friends. I know I’ll miss the sometimes harsh criticisms that make me strive to do better. I know I’ll miss the adrenaline rush of pushing for quota, requirements and my 7 minute speeches.

This is going to be over in three days. I know I’m afraid but I also know I’m glad I did it. Getting to know debsoc over the past few months allowed me to get to know some of the most colorful personalities and some of the most memorable characters ever.

It’s almost over. It’ll be almost a year since I saw BJ and the successful applicants of 2006. When September ends, I might be at vinzons listening to BJ again. I may be pretending to eat again but I’ll know I’ll smile at the thought of my app period.

JonJon Aberya

Winning by JonJon Aberya

Debate was something that used to scare the shit out of me. I went into those high school tournaments armed with nothing but the latest issue of The Economist while girls in black would pass by holding huge matter binders. Talk about intimidation. The worst part, though, wouldn’t come until the last few seconds before the Chair Adjudicator calls out my turn to speak. My teeth would chatter incessantly, my hands would shake and practically drip with sweat. I would clutch my notes and take a deep breath. I’d exhale, and the exhilaration of the next seven minutes would tell me everything else was worth this moment.

It was a constant inner battle. I had to wrestle with my fears and insecurities, and convince myself that there was something actually gratifying beyond it all. It was a dichotomy demanding the existence of both pain and pleasure in a single activity. It wasn't necessarily about winning the debate. It was that moment when I would feel like I'm actually making sense and what I have to say matters. And for a while, that 7-minute rush kept winning over my anxiety. That is, until frustrations led me to start giving into my fears. I found excuses to pass up tournaments. I found reasons not to train. Ultimately, I doubted that debate was for me.

This picture of how I felt about debate years ago is important in articulating how I feel about my experience in applying to the UP Debate Society. As a freshman, I was curious about the Society. Part of me wanted to get in, but an even bigger part of me just found no reason to even try. Sophomore year came, and the applications all over the University opened again. My curiosity for DebSoc came back. But more than just curiosity, this time I felt challenged. If I tried, could I make it in? Am I really bad in debate, or did I just not try hard enough before? I saw an opportunity, and I took it. I applied.

Honestly, I had to hurdle a lot of problems. Other obligations forced me to have less time with DebSoc than I would have liked, but I tried to make up for it by ensuring that such time was well-spent. I even missed the very first required activity because of a commitment I had made involving my part-time job. I had conflicts with my parents with regards to going home late several times a week, but I guess they saw how serious I was about this, and they learned to deal with it. Eventually, I got into a steady rhythm that somehow managed to go through several typhoons and major exams.

At first I also had trouble making friends with everyone. It’s an org, and I know how important it is to build relationships with everyone. My friends often say I’m outgoing, but I do have difficulty making new acquaintances. It seems unnatural for a debater, but I do admit to being shy around new company. But as the app process progressed, it became easier to let my guard down and to get to know everybody. It was interesting that this org houses a variety of students, making conversation always colorful and rich. As with all new friends, I felt a bit of apprehension in expressing my thoughts about the variety of things talked about, but this couldn’t have been any less of an issue in an org that is so open to different opinions.

My first member-friends, aside from my buddy, were mostly from the Membership and Administration Committee (MAC). It makes sense, because they were the ones I approached when I had questions or concerns. I was actually surprised at how accommodating they were. I guess I had the impression that seniority in orgs was something that was constantly rubbed into applicants’ faces. But it was the opposite with MAC. Of course, I still respected their seniority (and that of all members), but at the same time, they also respected me as an applicant. More than that, they were so supportive and encouraging. I felt their sincerity in wanting to assist all of us apps in passing through this phase. I have to take this chance to make a shout-out to Yang, who among the MAC members I must have badgered the most with all my questions about the app period. Thanks, Yang! I can’t thank you enough.

This also reminds me of the great Bernard Joseph Esposo Guerrero, MAC’s head. Initially, I was intimidated by BJ. We were told of his achievements when he was first introduced to us. I guess a felt like I was too insignificant to matter to him. But the more I got to see of him, the more at ease I became with him. I remember that there was even one time when he told us apps to just approach him if we needed anything. He said it in such a way that emanated sincerity (and maternal love, even) and made me more comfortable in future conversations with him.

BJ also gave me comments on my adjudication once. I was scared out of my wits at the beginning, because this was BJ—BJ, who has become a prominent adjudicator in the australasian debate circuit. And I was, well, me. No adj experience to speak of. But at the end, I was just grateful that he was the one who listened to my adjudication. BJ is like a model of a debater and adjudicator I would want to be in the future. Actually, DebSoc is full of such models. But in that particular instance, BJ gave a lot of important comments, and those became useful in my next debates and adjudications. More than that, I felt that in those few minutes he really wanted to correct how I was doing it to make sure I do better next time. Thanks, Bernard Joseph Esposo Guerrero, you truly are a mentor.

In fact, throughout this app period, that was exactly what I tried to do--just keep on doing better and better. My first few tambay debates were terrible. I felt so rusty and kept stuttering in all my speeches. But around mid-sem, I felt the rust slowly come off. This isn't to say that I'm a fantastic debater now, because I'm far from that. But the battle of anxiety vs. exhilaration raged on inside me every single debate. And the latter was winning.

I remember debating recently in front of a panel with their backs against a glass wall. I saw my reflection while giving my speech. For a split-second, my mind deviated from my speech and, in seeing how I’ve rediscovered an old passion, acknowledged how grateful I am that I applied to DebSoc.

Yes, debate still scares the shit out of me. But that only makes me appreciate more the intense joy I feel when I develop an argument that's actually pretty decent, or make a case-busting POI. Whether I get in or not, I feel like I've already won in this app period. I can only hope that my efforts would ultimately extend to getting the grand prize: more years with the Society.

Erismith Prado

Sure as Hell by Erismith Prado

Disclaimer: This article requires your utmost reading patience. Skip through if you think it’s too long. If not, well—yay! Somebody read my entry.

Before you put your hand on that door knob and twisted it, clockwise, with all the strength your hand could wring, you suddenly think of what awaited you as you stood there, hesitantly—you remember your debate yesterday and wonder, if you'd fare any better today. You entertain the thought of just turning around and running the hell off—you won't bear the risk of having to create more hung arguments, more dead-air, more humiliation. But before you even have time to consider, you find your hand moving by itself. The door clinks as you enter the Econ Caf. You purposefully move forward, a man with a mission. To hell with whatever was inside, I'm in. Various sights, smells, sounds and feels, suddenly assault you: a view of BJ jumping up and down, a whiff of BJ's new perfume, the auditory sensation of BJ's high voice reverberating on the walls of the caf, a jolt from BJ, like a mother would a wayward child, slapping your wrist, and, uhm, BJ (So is BJ an assault on the senses?).

There’s an art to it, really—how to understand BJ, how to be around BJ, how to please BJ (hey, no undertones there), much so how to write about BJ—that top adjudicator, situational narcissist, great debate constructive critic and perpetual UPDS character (BJ would love this). And that’s not romanticizing it (I mean BJ) than is strictly necessary. He's really that much hard to put a finger on (Hey, you. Yeah, you snickering there—I know what you're thinking—cut it out).

The steady, wavy movements of his hands, the loud, high strung voice of his, the helpful debate advice, the panacea to any debate ailment, the brutally frank, jocular attitude—all this add up to the single, revelatory vision of a (or the) BJ Guerrero. The one and only. Tadah! OK, so now I'm finished with the obligatory BJ praising.

You know it’s only BJ who could think up of a task like this. Really, I’m not surprised. Not that I have anything against this—in fact, I’m all for it. Not for purely sentimental reasons, so I could whine all I can for the next few paragraphs about my experiences, how they've changed me and all—I'm not really much that kind of guy—neither wanted to nor could do that. What I'm thinking instead is, it’s good that there’s something like this, a lens, if you will, with which to view the past application process in hindsight, so you could review yourself again, take a bird's eye view of whatever the hell happened this past month—and reaffirm yourself, of your place (consider it an obligatory self-evaluation process). The only danger to that probably is how upon being forced to regurgitate, like some bulimic poring over the contents of his/her (have to be politically correct here) little spill, whatever has happened this past month or so, what I have felt about the app process—which has positively been good, very good in fact—may change upon retrospection.

I'm not even sure if something of the sort has already begun to happen with me—you only remember the failed debates, the hard-as-hell matter exams, the disappointment in being unable to put yourself up to standards, the cut-throat competition, all throughout the application process, you're almost tempted to wonder—is this truly debate, or is it flagellation? Is this supposed to inspire enthuisasm, or masochism?

Out of sheer frustration and major ego de-boosting, you start considering jumping out the window or lying down in the middle of the university avenue, customary food for any tire willing to come your way. But then upon hearing encouraging words from those divine beings, debating gods (from my vantage point anyway), the MAC members—veritable extensions of BJ himself, you slowly regain your sanity, start thinking straight, begin appreciating everything.

You get to spend time with them, you talk about the application process, and then you realize that the phenomenon of pain and pleasure, as evinced in the debsoc application process, is not limited to the confines of a bedroom, dominatrix leather outfits, whips, and screams of the codename California. It can also be seen towards the end of the application process—when all your hard work would pay off (hopefully it would). If it doesn’t—well that’s all the more reason to work your ass harder, isn’t it?

But if I really wanted to examine just how positive an effect UPDS has done to me, I need not look far for an answer. You simply conjure a what-if thought process where you didn’t push through the debsoc application. I’d be carrying my lifeless carcass of a body to an institution was so hyped to study in before and which upon entering I had quite some trouble adjusting to—something I never expected. I do this every weekday for the next 4 or so years, try to enter UP law and become a lawyer, so I could feed myself three times a day, say to myself this is what I’m born to do, serve society (the old bull), and then be happy—but such things seem so formulaic, so lacking life. It invokes the unholy image of likening UP college life to meat grinders—put something in, out comes the finished product. What’s so fun about that?

I know I’m not speaking entirely for others, and I’m not even asserting a fierce generalization here, but I truly believe the only way I could fully enjoy UP life is to have an org—one that pushed me to my very limits, one that improved me in every aspect, one that had the most interesting, not to mention intelligent, people UP could boast of, and one that could open up entirely new experiences for me. Well, you know what the org is. To think, it makes all the hardships you’ve been through worthwhile, if only to give you the slightest chance of getting into such an organization. Sure as hell.