Fingers Crossed by Some Tigdas
BJ (bee-jey) n. proficiency in the language; n. grace under pressure; n.
romance; n. eloqunce; n. grace under pressure; n. friendship.
Several meanings are given to this word. The English dictionary defines it as proficiency in language. Indonesians see it as romance. Ilocanos say it's eloquence. DebSoc dictionary says it's grace under pressure. App's dictionary states it is friendship. I say it means a warm heart, a state of compassion.
It's a helping hand when you think you're fucked off in your debate performances. It's a funny joke when your day was terrible. It's responsibility over self. It's rationality despite emotionality. It's a pink streak in a white sheet. It's depth and pakikisama. Others know this more than I do. I hope I would be given a chance to understand what this word really means.
MAC. Wow. I don't know how they juggle everything, from the start of the app process to the regulation of buddies and applicants, from the App's Olympics to the JDC. They have super hero complexes inside them.
The most fun part was the Applicant's Olympics. I don't know much of my co-applicants yet so at first I was worried. I was competitive at first, I was running for the first place. Lucky, my teammates were 'bibo'; I managed to loosen up quickly. But we had so much 'tanga' moments – we got really tired only of going back from one station to another and we got delayed. In the end, we decided just to have fun, enjoy running around crazy, grin back at the people who smile at our hagard looks. And the moment we decided just to do that, things went well.
Without pressure, the tasks were a lot easier to accomplish. The hardest part was buying or looking for a condom, but hey, I managed to ask the girl at coop and did it again for the second time. When I laughingly asked the coop girl, “Ate, may condom po ba kayo?”, with my biggest smile pasted on my face, the girl just gave me this weird look and said they don't sell any. My charms failed me. It was awkward asking to buy one especially when I have a girl beside me grinning with me as I ask. I won't even think about what the coop girl thought. When I did it the second time at the drug store, the drug store girl gave me this blank face. Good she didn't give me another raised eyebrow; I bet she's used of UP students asking for one (Safe sex is a norm in the campus). The longest line was of course the highlight of the event. Good thing I didn't have to take off my shorts.
The hardest task from MAC perhaps was the debate requirements. It's heartbreaking when you dop your best and yet it doesn't pay off. It sure is stressing to think about every requirement that is still in the to-do list, given the other academic loads and stuff. And the most depressing is getting not-so-nice comments. But in time, I learned to take it as a push for me to do better. It's also nice that there are my other co-applicants and other members who were ready to give me a tap on the back when I badly need one.
The Application Period couldn't have been this fun and memorable without those who worked behind the curtain. Their efforts were worth it and are deeply appreciated.
I totally felt awkward when I decided to apply and show up at the buddy-bidding event. Just the though of the requirements, the same as many of my co-applicant, I was stressed.
During my first tambay debate, I performed really bad. I was completely nervous to debate for the first time again. During my speech, as I was delivering my speech, suddenly my mind just flew out of the debate. I stopped. In my mind, it was all blank. What am I doing here?, that's the only thing I found there and I was terrified. I struggled to put my mind back on my speech but my momentum was ruined already.
I'm not sure why I'm taking this same track for the second time. Experience is one. But that's not enough reason. Confidence-building. Hmm... Of all the reasons though, one thing is more evident than the rest – I love being with the people of DebSoc. It's not the mushy kind but it's extremely attracting me towards it. It's good to be with people who share the same passion for debating and fun as I have.
J:Will you join DebSoc?
M:I dunno. Pag-iisipan ko pa, medyo marami na rin
kasing acad loads this sem.
J:Pero do you want to?
M:Kung 'gusto' ang
pag-uusapan, I really do.
Case closed. Just in a matter of time, I'll be judged. Whatever comes, everything about this experience was and will always be worth it. I'll keep my finger crossed.